A post from the cat. How about that? Old lazy Pat has tried to stifle the cat. But you can't do that. I'm always up to bat. If only these claws hit buttons with ease. Then I'd post whenever I please. I could rhyme or not. With or without a plot. Maybe I will. Maybe I'll thrill. Maybe I'll confuse. Maybe I'll just amuse. But either way it's all on Pat. That working thing he needs to get rid of for the cat. Then we'd go broke? Bah, just get woke. Then you'd be all happy with glee. Or argue with even a flea. On second thought I'll let him work. Screw becoming a woke jerk.
Yeah. Kitty. What is it with the humans arguing on that Farcebook thing all the time? Like they think they are right and then they argue about such nonsense. They should just go eat some poop and lick each other down below. It is much more fun than trying to prove you are right over so and so. We can rhyme too, kitty. Oh. Here's comes another Farcebook argument. We have to go eat poop now. Much more fun than reading that shit.
Where the path shall lead? Or should that be led? A new path to go? An old path to return to? Who knows what will come of it. You just have to step and keep going. What story will unfold? What shall be told? Will you break a hip? Maybe learn something new. Step by step and things shall come into view.
Obsession. A tale as old as time. For some it is a woman or man. For some it is money. For some it is getting their ugly mug on TV. For others it can be rock collecting. For some it may be bows. Then for some it may be birds. Like lots and lots of birds. Yes. Humans can be addicted/obsessed with ANYTHING. Doesn't have to be a substance like alcohol or drugs. But if it isn't impeding life then let it go to the birds. The moment you start making mating calls though, you may want to get referred to a shrink.
"Uncle pattie, tell us a story."
There once was a man who pooped in a bucket.
When he was done he found he had nowhere to chuck it.
So he bagged it and tied it and put it in his car.
Hoping he could throw it away before he drove far.
"That is gross."
"Did he take it to the dump?"
He drove and he drove but he couldn't find a spot.
Today was a day that people were out a lot.
They came and they roamed and they sat and they ate.
The day was an ever so important type date.
"Was it poop day?"
"Christmas?"
They had come from every corner of Earth.
It was the day that one would give birth.
"Like a baby?"
Birth to a tower so big and so far,
That it could not be reached by plane, train, or car.
"Did a dinosaur help them up?"
The tower would fall in minutes from the sky.
It was built up there by some rich guy.
No one knew the exact spot of the fall,
But it had sure engrossed the curiosity of all.
"What does engross mean?"
"Gross like nasty poop?"
And then it came. A glorious sight.
It was a spot with no maybe or might.
He could dump his poop there unseen.
An empty lot that sure wasn't pristine.
"What does pristine mean?"
"Is that like pee?"
He grabbed the can and ran for the space.
Light became dark and so did his face.
The building was falling. It was ever so near.
He had better get his butt into gear.
"Butts have gears?"
"Like my bike?"
He ran for his car and took off in time.
His old thing could go on a dime.
No stop. No yield. Nothing like that.
He had escaped but now his poop had become flat.
"Did he have diarrhea?"
The building had landed. It had fallen into place.
The man now had a giant smile on his face.
The building had squashed it and allowed him a place to chuck it.
No one would ever know that there once was a man who pooped in a bucket.
"He didn't take it to the dump?"
"That's littering."
"Tell us another story."
There once was a....
Look! It's a giant litterbox. Otherwise known as a beach. It is so great. We have to buy this and build a house right beside it. I'm talking right beside it. So close that the water could wash away the house if it rose up a little. What? You won't insure us? But that's not fair. We should get insurance like everyone else. We only built it here because it is so pretty. We'll only be here 3 weeks of the year anyway. Come on. Insure us. No? Well we are going to go cry to the media and on Farcebook and everywhere else. We aren't the dumbass ones that built it where it could easily fall into the ocean. We aren't the ones that have to be right beside the water. Nope. Not us. You should insure us.
Humans are so whiny. Whine about a mask on their face like you asked them to chop off a finger. Whine about their rights and freedom when really freedom is relative. Yeah. There are free-er than other places. But try not paying your property taxes or income taxes or power bill or insurance or driving without a license or a million other things and see how free you really are. If you want to be free, humans, then buy an island in the middle of the ocean and start your own country. Otherwise, you will never truly be free.
Time and time again comes the old "those who don't know history are doomed to repeat it" or something like that. Well guess what? Those that get stuck in the past are doomed to stay there too. Oh, this property should be a historical site. Oh, it shouldn't be torn down. Oh, it is a symbol of history. Someone should save it. Someone. Anyone. But not the ones whining about it. Nope. Not us. But someone should save the rat infested, moldy, holey, decrepit building because it is history. Can't tear the eye sore down. Nope. That is so bad. Let's go ra ra ra on Farcebook some more. Screw fixing roads. Tax payer dollars should be spent to keep this rotting crap standing.
In the doorway there sat a cat. You may not see him. You may not hear him. But he is always watching. There he sits with little light upon him. He knows all you say. He hears all they say. He keeps the spirits at bay. Unless you piss him off. Then he may let them in and it will be your undoing. You will go mad until he decides to chase them back. If he decides. That could be a big IF for some humans.
Are you a risk-taker when writing? Do you try something radically different in style/POV/etc. or add controversial topics to your work?
So...do I need to answer this? Doesn't the above cover it all? In case some are just skimmers though, I'll give the answer a go. Obviously I can blab away. That much you can see today. I have no fear with controversial crap either. And if you agree you agree and if you don't you don't. Don't conform to someone else as that is all they want. But learn and grow and you never know what you may learn.
And as for POV. Pffft. I'll let that go. I can do it in flow. You can see how you ended up reading about you. The cat will write when the cat wants to and how the cat wants to.
Get em all? Beats me at my hall. But I did blab more today than in the last two months or so here. The cat is always near though. He is just over at that other place. We all show our face. I even share it with the mutts. Even if they are nuts. But aren't we all? Yeah. From Spring to Fall. Now I shall let this come to pass as I continue being a little rhyming ass.
Enjoy life, forget the strife.
Your cat is very wise. I don't know why people like to argue on Facebook either. And yes, I can see that you write what you think in your writing. I loved the picture with your nephews.
ReplyDeleteThe cat has some wisdom a going haha. Yeah. ugg to those facebook arguers. Let the writing flow at our sea.
DeleteI loved this full free form flow of everything from the cat, from Pat. And the poop story is classic - you are the best Uncle EVER. Indeed - don't piss off the cat and let the spirits in.
ReplyDeleteThe big IF....it haunts us all. (Glad you appeared - always a fun read and thought provoking too. Take care)
lol the poop one just came on out and gave it a shout. Yeah. Never piss off a cat. Good to be thought provoking too.
DeleteYour nephews are sure cute, Uncle Pat. Lots of poop talk, though! My grandson veers towards the car and truck talk. I might enjoy poop talk more.
ReplyDeleteAnd geez, nothing like calling out Jax! Lol!
lol well they like the car and truck, but poop wins out. hahaha caught Jax's call out, huh? Not subtle enough?
DeleteI agree with Natalie. The cat is wise:)
ReplyDeleteLove seeing pics of the crew.
Your area is beautiful.
Don't work too hard and stay healthy.
Wise cat works for we
DeleteUgg to work comes to be
But it shall pass
Stay healthy too and don't get gas lol
Everyone knows that when you argue and call other people names on social media, you are proving your absolute authority. Probably on a mission from God. Or god. One of those.
ReplyDeleteLove the kittehs! That last one is plotting to kill you in your sleep and find a way to blame someone else, you know. Probably the dogs.
lol yep. God has sent you from upon high to argue and be right. Pffft. People need to get a grip.
DeleteThe mutts always take the blame these days haha
Let's hear more from the cat, Pat. He's got his litter boxes in a row.
ReplyDeleteBut are they clean or used?
DeleteNothing is sacred with you.
ReplyDeleteI think your nephews need to write a book with you.
Not a thing. Will go this way and that. Could be fun with the rugrats.
DeleteWell, you wrote about a month's worth of stuff in one post so we will forgive you. Cat, If Pat becomes woke, I'll hold him down with you until he naps that away. For once, I got your back!! LOL Blab? As in you're the new blabber? And a story about poop? Of course it was because you're obsessed. Going to birds? I'd rather be obsessed with birds than buckets full of poop. :)
ReplyDeletehaha have to keep up with you. And teaming with the cat. Has to be if he goes woke. But I don't think with his mouth he'd go woke. Well you have plenty of poop stuff too. So you are double obsessed.
DeleteJax, I will help! No woke. Too many sensitive crybabies out there.
ReplyDeletelol all want to hold me down. Maybe woke isn't so bad hahaha whoops, that probably wouldn't be woke. Fail.
DeleteI enjoyed the photos. I bet Uncle Pattie has a lot of stories to tell. lol.. Hope you aren't working too hard. Stay safe out there.
ReplyDeleteCan tell with ease whenever we please. Working away day by day...sadly lol
DeleteA great story about poo
DeleteNot involving Scooby Doo
Or a blue poo shoe.
Hello Pat,
How are you?
Still alive
DeleteAnd about 3 by 5
How about you at your zoo?
You take more risks with writing than anyone I know, Pat! That's one of the fun things about your books. I bet you tell lots of hilarious tales to your nephews ~ Lucky them!
ReplyDeleteJust go with it and that is that haha they question everything though and interrupt my stories.
DeleteThe cat very definitely could not be stifled. And that was an impressive story.
ReplyDeleteAlways something to say at our bay
DeleteI imagine the littles really enjoy poop stories. But if I had poop in a bucket, I know where I'd chuck it. Would really make my enemies day.
ReplyDeleteI never would have taken you for a blabber mouth. Just kidding. I have a feeling you never hush up LOL.
Did uncle pattie get a haircut?
hahaha there you go. Chuck it at the enemies and watch em squirm. lol I can hush up. It's just the cat. He never does. Uncle Pattie got the diy kind as he has for the last year now. Saves him money lol such a cheapo
DeleteNothing wrong with the diy haircut. Jason's been cutting his own for the past 7 or 8 years now with the trimmer. It's nice not shelling out money for his monthly hair expenses. I actually had him learn to cut mine so we didn't waste money on me either, but he's been doing it almost as long as we've been together, almost 25 years!. He's cut, colored and learned how to straighten hair too, so that really helped that he had those skills since we only had girls LOL.
Deletelmao man of many talents. And hey, if it saves money that is the way to be. I think I'll stick with the diy from now on as it saves me money. This whole make money online thing is meh, so may as well save it where I can haha
DeleteJust stopped by to say hey:)
ReplyDeleteThe boys are sure growing.
That they are and hay is for horses and cows...so they say.
DeleteHa!:)
DeleteWhining about face masks makes me nuts. Life must be good if that's all a person has to complain about.
Yeah, must be indeed
DeleteThose nephews look the perfect age to enjoy a poop story. I imagines lots of giggles. I don't know how people have the time to be offended about everything.
ReplyDeleteYeah. It is just nuts how people waste their entire day being offended about being offended lol
DeleteA precocius tot or two
ReplyDeletewill bring the risk outta you
but it's already there
All poopers beware.
Out it will come
DeleteWill even wipe a bum
My latest obsession is fragrance, but I'm not quite ready to chuck it to the wind, unless it's the sillage that's going forth to spread joy, lol. Super careful not to overspray since I am around so many people all day. The pics are great. Lots of happy going on over there. :)
ReplyDeletehaha you sure went all fragrance obsessed indeed. I'll never do that as no sense of smell. So it's all air to me haha happy about at our sea.
DeleteWell I've never been a perfume girl in my whole life, so the whole thing took me by surprise. Glad I found something I enjoy. It's fun for now. :)
DeleteThat is great when you find something you enjoy indeed.
DeleteSo many topics are covered here: the birds, the beach, addiction, diarrhea. The important thing is that the topics don't cover you. Nothing worse than being covered in poo. Are you sure that bucket of crap wasn't from the feline? Seems like he'd really enjoy sometime. Now it's time for me to head back to my land. Over there I can enjoy the birds, recovery, and the sand. Stay well doggies, kids, and even the cat. New year, kind Elsie; can you handle that?
ReplyDeleteElsie
Eat poop and lick down there, made me winch. The biggest part of that I don't get is then letting the dogs lick them on the face, doggy kisses. Why not just smear poop on once face and cut to the chase, lol. The dog picture though is really really cute. We had a dog similar to that in my growing up years, but a very light brown. Small, maybe12 inches? Can't remember for sure. Was a Caren Tarrier. Is that what your cute white ones are? The look on the cats face is perfect.........Sandy's Space
Deletehaha weaved a bunch in indeed. Yeah. Who needs to be covered in poo. I'll leave that to the pup and you. But the cat is fine with poop in a bucket. Pat scoops it in and doesn't need to chuck it. But he has gone in a can. Does that count as not a flash in the pan? New you? Whatever will the one eye moniker do.
DeleteWell at least the tongue kinda gets rid of the poo a bit lol but yeah, blah to letting them lick the face if they are poo eaters. They are West highland terriers.
DeleteLoved seeing you with the two little chatterboxes! I can just hear the non-stop questions as you try to read to them. I try to keep my mouth shut most of the time now. Seems I can't say much of anything without offending someone these days. I am still trying to be nice to everyone, and I'm trying to stay out of politics and current events altogether. Much happier that way.
ReplyDeleteThey sure have the questions a flowing indeed. Fun though. Bah, you roll your eyes and you'll offend someone, so screw em. Let em be offended and keep on a going.
DeleteAww You and the kids are so cute. Love the beach pic. I try not to argue on FB but if people get on my nerves I just block them. Problem solved.
ReplyDeletePlenty of beaches here. Great way to handle those FB nuts indeed.
DeletePoop in a bucket? Ugh, F&(^% it! If one has to go, one has to go. I bet your nephews loved that story. As for facebook...people need to chill or eat a pickled dill. Their mouth will pucker and then you tell them, "Way to go Mother Beep!" I have seen where people build big places on the beach only to whine when their home falls into the ocean. What was the first thought about building on sand? Oh well, Glad to see you here with the cats and all.
ReplyDeleteYour nephews are getting big! I bet they love your stories!
DeleteYeah. Fork it indeed as you rhyme at our feed. They do enjoy. Even if rather play with a toy lol In the ocean they go. That we all know.
DeleteThey enjoy indeed.
DeleteSomehow I can't find the option to separately comment, so here it is.
DeleteWell, I absolutely agree with you about whiny humans and their not-so-important issues becoming huge for them. I get it stems from an ego centric mindset. It can be tiring just dealing with them and their trivial stupidities (I'm sailing on the same weird boat with too much crap being thrown around these days).
Anyways, your lovely cats and dogs stole my heart. I hope you're doing well Patt! Always a pleasure to read your posts!
Trivial stupidities is a great way to put it. That ego-centric mindset sure is engrained in sooo many. I'll stick with cats and dogs.
DeleteYou are fascinating and live the life that makes you happy. And you have a cat which makes you a very good man, even though sometimes this little country girl doesn't understand what you're saying.
ReplyDeleteAround we go. Cats, kids, dogs and all.
DeleteAn adult telling poop stories (that rhyme, no less) must be thrilling for little kids! lol
ReplyDeletelol and may be based on a bit of truth too.
DeleteMaking blog rounds so thought I'd stopped by and wave. Hope you're ok, odd for you not to have a new post.
ReplyDeleteSandy's Space
Post here and there when time to spare
DeleteYour cat is very wise. I don't know why people like to argue on Facebook either. And yes, I can see that you write what you think in your writing.
ReplyDelete