Time For A Scare?

So Jax wanted to get with the cat and give scary movies a go. After she said that, Pat and I both gave an eye roll though. How are humans scared of fake stuff? I can see jump scares or scaring the tiny humans, but aren't the big ugly humans supposed to have a brain? Is a script scary?

I don't know about you humans, but we'll still play with Raviolis and Waterworks today.

So you have a guy that has a knife and you have big guns but you can't stop him because....because...he has a face mask? Is the face mask magic? Is that why he has so many different timelines now? That is just scary to think about as it hurts the head. See? A scary movie.

Here we have one that spawned 50 sequels. No one better than the other. Worse maybe. What is scary is how easily this could have been over. Gun. Check! Lock. Check! Gun to lock to try and get it off...anyone? Anyone? Nope. Let's saw our limb off instead. Scary!!!

Time to cheat. The ultimate cheat. Then create 50 more sequels where you cheat some more. But you know the world doesn't like cheaters, so you have to pay for that. You cheat. You die. That ought to put a stop to a lot of crime. I guess that would make it scary.

Let's play dress up and be a cat. What could go wrong? Let's lick ourselves and huff catnip. What could go wrong? Maybe it is more scary to ask what is right about this one.

Nature wants to eat humans. Or get rid of them. Or...I don't know. Make humans stare for two hours. Staring. Staring. Staring. Staring. Silence. More Staring. Oh so scary.

What timeline is this? What sequel is this? Is it a prequel? Is it a redo? Is it the same Sarah Conner? Did she shrink? Is he human or robot? Is this a reboot? What timeline are we in now? I know I asked that but I feel like Skynet shifted it. Oh. Skynet didn't die yet. That other thingy is later. Or is it before? F-ing time travel. Scary!

I'm on vacation. I'm on vacation. I'm on vacation. No you are not, you idiot. You went there with a purpose that wasn't to relax. You aren't on vacation so shut the hell up. Better yet, just shoot this franchise and throw what remains in the incinerator. At this point it is scary just seeing how low it has sunk. 

Thank you for being a friend...except to this guy. Go back to the Golden Girls. Leave the scary criminals to Rambo so he can rip off Home Alone after getting beat up. Hmmm maybe you should have been there. Could be scary either way.

Doesn't this just scream scary? No? Yes? Need I say more? Probably not, but that never stopped me before. Kindergarten Cop he's not. But it is probably ahead of the recent sequel to that, so that is scary. 

Oh. We are back to really scary. I mean look at his face. It is so scary. Those trolls aren't to be messed with. You could call this Troll 6. Or would that be 4? Maybe Critters 6? Don't remind me of the 5th one of that. Hell, forget 3 and 4. Maybe Ernest needs to take the trolls to school or Africa to play with the Critters. That would be a slamdunk. The kiddos will go to camp with this one.

Is it scary that I've watched all of these? Probably. Hey, the first wasn't bad when you forget the whole timeline thing and he killed her how many times now? Final Destination was interesting the first time, after the 5th sequel with the exact same thing, it gets old though. And Ernest beats the rest. Oh how the mighty have fallen and just don't know it.

Any movies that actually scare you? Any scare you when you were a tiny human at your zoo? Like how I switch to rhyme and then not? Hey, it can be a part of the plot. Or at least make you think. May bring you to the brink. See any truly time wasters lately? Not sure how some of such crap gets made, but it does. And then all it gets is crappy buzz. See any of the above? Now I am done. Wasn't that great? Were you expecting me to say fun? I enjoy screwing with all a t...bunch. And now this oh so scary movie post has come to pass from my off and on little rhyming ass.

Enjoy life, forget the strife.