Time To Get Extra Creative

They want me to be extra creative today. Do I have to put down extra words? Is it like over time? I've done enough of that. I don't need to go over time. How can you go over time if it isn't even there? Do you put a clock on the ground and jump over it? Then wouldn't it be over clock? Just something extra to think about. Maybe you can get creative and fight with time for a time. Do it in rhyme. That would be a fun time. Afterwards switch back to normal speak. That will send em up the creek. Which creek though? I guess the nearest to them. We wouldn't want them to have to waste gas money driving too far. Unless there are alligators. We may want to avoid that creek. Not sure what alligators would be doing in a creek, but you just never know. Plus, alligators in a creek is probably more plausible than fighting time and sending the mysterious them who fight it to a creek. Just saying...err...umm...typing. I better get on with this so I can be creative elsewhere and answer the question. Or would that be defying the point? Is there a point? Is the question pointy? Watch your fingers, kiddos. The pointy questions may be dangerous.

What creative activity do you engage in when you're not writing?

Shadow stalking. The art of shadow stalking is so creative. Especially when it is cloudy. Doesn't hurt to have a mini me shadow for that extra bit of creativity either.

The cat pizza making. Yeah. I really sorta maybe kinda made that. No. I didn't order it. Nope. Not me. I am soooo creative with pizza. Something I don't even eat, but I'm so creative.

Refereeing trampoline death matches for children. It is so creative to just let them go at it while I play on my phone and ignore them as they elbow each other in the eyeball, right? What? I was told not to hover. 

Animal dressing. As you can see my clients are so happy with the end result. Doesn't that face just scream happiness?

Dog playground patrol. First you make them think they are going for a walk. Next you tie them to the playground. After that you just walk away and let them scare any kids. See? Sooooo easy.

Best of all....wait for it....wait for it...child bowling. Send them down the aisle and then start chucking bowling balls down. You'll never have a better time as they scream and hop lanes.

Relaxing with friends can be creative too. I mean just figuring out what to wear is creative in and of itself. There is just so much in the closet. Choices. Choices.

Finally, there is the stuffing of big things in small things. Hmmm...that sounds a bit naughty. Stay out of the gutter. It can be more fun if they squirm. So alive is preferable. Hmmm...that sounds bad too. Better end my creativeness before I obtain that R rating. What? No. He didn't walk in there on his own. Why would a dog ever walk into a cat cage? Thinking that is just silly.

And there you have it one and all. These are just a few that came to mind. We'd be here for years if I spilled all my creative doings while not writing, especially considering I haven't done much of that in a while. I wouldn't recommend trying these unless you are a super duper pro though. You should just stick to clock jumping. Probably be less fines and jail time that way. 

Do anything creative when not writing at your place? Ever try kid bowling? Do you believe I may have gotten creative with my creative? If not, I have a bridge I've been holding onto that I will sell you for a low, low price. To inquire head to the playground with the dogs guarding it. Just turn left after jumping over the clock and keep going straight until you see them.

What? I didn't answer? Pfffft. Sure I did. You just didn't look close enough. Forest and trees and all that stuff. Yeah. I said the idiom wrong. Oh well. I still can use pee up a rope right if one prefers. Any more questions you want answered? No? Oh, you're back to the alligator in the creek, are you? Watch out. I hear Bigfoot is the new leader of the creek alligators. 

Bigfoot's Creek Alligators

Coming soon to a creek near you

Now didn't that take a turn? That a question or a statement? Beats me. Depends how you take it I suppose. Why am I asking myself that when it is you who should ask that? Beats me. No beating though. I'm brittle. 

Are we at the end yet? Do you see how creative I can be? Mind always working, even when I may or may not be lying. What? You believe I kid bowled but didn't make the cat pizza? You really need to buy my bridge. Remember just to go straight. Your bridge is waiting. See you soon.

Enjoy life, forget the strife.

Time For A Rule...Or Not

 

Back we be. Or me be. Or you be. I guess we all can just be. Be what? Beats the heck out of me. Hopefully not literally though. Too old for that. Unless you are still a rugrat. I can handle getting beaten up still with them. Just be prepared to be picked up and chucked in the water.

Now that you are well aware of being thrown in the water, what was it I was supposed to answer?

Human, you are strange. I think I'll go search for my answers elsewhere. If only you'd pick up this dog poop so I can get by.

No comments from the peanut gallery. Do peanuts have a gallery? Who knew? Better watch it or the peanuts may rise up and give everyone diarrhea.

As you can see the summer hasn't changed us any. Still as crazy as ever. I blame this lighthouse.

(Yeah. I stole Fundy's pic again. What? I'm half in it. Maybe 33.333% if you count the lighthouse. 25% if you count the bushes. 1....no more math.)

This lighthouse is the base for earwigs that crawl in your ear and control you. Hmmmm...Is that a spoiler for another book? Hmmmm....The Cove....Hmmmm....

Questions. Questions. I guess I better get to this one from the IWSG.

Since it's back to school time, let's talk English class. What's a writing rule you learned in school that messed you up as a writer?

School? Learn? Do those go together? It's been so long. I can't remember. I guess I didn't learn too much if I didn't learn that. Such a failure. Those As and Bs lied. One C too. Stupid physics.

Good news. English class didn't mess me up as a writer. I did that all by myself. Wait. That may be bad news. Now I can't get my American on and go sue due to loss of earnings. Damn it. Mr. Johnson should have been more strict.

There were really no hard and fast rules that I recall. Besides the normal stuff. Couldn't go spelling in gibberish or jibberish and such. See? I even break that rule now.

Rules are out the window I guess. Pretty hard to do when the window is closed, but they manage to go out anyway. That would be a good trick in case of a fire. Darn rules mess you up and then magically run out windows. Who knew they were like an absentee parent. No wonder the world is a mess. It's all the neglectful rules fault. World peace solved. Get rid of all windows.

My work here is done. Do your rules magically go out closed windows? Did you know rules messed with your psyche so much? Any rules you gave the heave ho to? Too much gibberish or jibberish from me? Want me to let your poor rule neglected brain be?

Enjoy life, forget the strife.

Time To Beat The Heat

 

Humans be complaining about the heat.

They shout it from rooftop to street.

Don't you think we feel the sweat?

Come on in and get wet.

Of course you could use a kiddie pool.

Just watch out for our dog drool.

Or dress as a giant T-Rex.

No one can see the sweat or your flab flex.

Look. We're back to the street.

That isn't really oh so neat.

Go climb on a roof and shout some more.

Maybe you'll even fall off the store.

I said you'd fall. Not be dead.

But if it's the latter, hey, can make use of your head.

Or forget the doom and gloom.

Now go on and bloom.

Don't be a stick in the mud.

Let the bugs suck your blood.

Oh. Now you are cranky like the sky.

All over a pesky little fly.

Guess you better climb a bridge and shout about the heat.

Excuse me while I hope you fall off while ignoring this repeat.

Wait. I saw the light.

The heat is in sight.

Oh my. It's there.

Summer has heat to spare.

Hmm. Is this off to a rocky end?

I better get there before I offend.

Whoops. In that I already failed.

Hold it. Did you hear that winter bailed?

It migrated south of the border.

Which border? Do I look like a map hoarder?

Don't give me that look.

Think I should get the hook?

Can it grab the heat talk first?

But then the small-talk bubble may burst.

Hell. Let's just burn the whole thing down.

That ought to stop the heat talk from making its way through town.

What? Did you miss the rhyming nut? I can still take the rhymes out for a putt. Beats hitting a tiny ball with a stick. Did winter pull some trick? No? Then can the heat stuff go? Yes. It is hot. Yes. Things can burn a lot. Yes. Record this or that. No. Everyone you see isn't living under a hat. Or would that be rock? Maybe they just pull down a stinky, old sock. You don't need to tell them what they already know. The weather people are bad enough on some internet site or TV show. But maybe like the cat it is all for fun because you know....it's gonna be a hot one. Blah. Just threw up in my mouth a bit. This weather talk just isn't it. How many people have you told today? How many have told you what they ALL say? Oh me. Oh my. The heat is coming to pass. I heard it the first thousand times that it was spoken to my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy life. Forget the strife.

Time To This or That

 

The IWSG wants people to think of what they can do. What they can do. What someone can do. A lot of doings, huh? Can't you see the brain storming over the giant litterbox? What? Confused? Okay. Question first I guess.

June 5 question - In this constantly evolving industry, what kind of offering/service do you think the IWSG should consider offering to members?

No? Damn. I sure failed to drive that home. I drove all the way to NY instead. Must have zigged when I should have zagged.

I knew I should have taken a left at that big duck. Damn it.

I said no going down holes. That includes digging them. Children. They never listen.

Are you done yet, human? You aren't as funny as you think you are.

I second that.

I third it, pee on it, and pick my nose with my tongue at the same time. Ultimate multitasking. 

Okay. I see the light. I'm not funny. What? I see the light. It's not on, but I see it. Seeeee?

Well he can't see that I see it like that. Geez. Children. Oh. That ship has sailed.

Then again. Maybe I am sea worthy. So confusing. Just like how I dodge answering the question, huh? I better go take a right at that big duck. Or was it left?

It was left. No. It was right. Walk time no matter which way you go though, human.

And don't forget me, human. I don't need any of those dumb leash things though.

See? Plenty of flowers. That will keep you busy until I make the left or the right or whatever.

Human, you really need to wave goodbye and take that left already. Not like you have much left up there to work with.

I'm ignoring the insulting mutt that picks its nose with its tongue while hitting the road and going left which was then right at that big duck. 

I crossed that bridge when I came to it. Just saying.

We're in. You don't have to tell us twice.

What? I wasn't very helpful? Even after all of that I didn't give any ideas? I must be losing my touch. Maybe I should have done it in rhyme. At least I could have confused for a time. That I can do in mass with my little rhyming ass.

Time can be a hard thing to come by some days. Especially when you jaunt across a border and end up sixteen hours away or so. So that is one factor that works against any site. Another is that social media isn't what it used to be. If it even used to be anything. A lot of it has gone down the crapper. A nasty, well-used port-a-potty type crapper.

Blogging led to many a great thing, so it would be nice if it kept on doing so with the IWSG and such. But with the click bait attention spans of a gnat that most people have, it may take a lot for that to happen again. 

Although a real life blogger meet up would be fun. That would be costly and the logistics would be crazy though.

So, yeah, unless you want me to weave some nonsense into a tale like above, which I can do upside down with one eye open, then unsure what any forward path would take.

Any ideas to stay relevant in blogland? Do you still care much about social media? Maybe I would if I stayed still long enough. I'm not Fundy Blue level going here and there and everywhere, but we get out more these days at our lair. Dogs and kids and NYers may do that to a guy. But I can still write this on the fly. Hmmmm. On the fly? Really? I'm not flying or pretending to fly yet I wrote it on the fly? 

Let me check....Not standing on a fly either. River did just eat one a few minutes ago though. Literally did. No lie. I guess that counts? I'll fly away now though with no flying involved. Until next time when I pretend to answer a question but don't really answer the question while updating life.

All good in your land? Any updates at hand?

Enjoy life. Forget the strife.

Once Upon A Rhyme

 

The wharf is gone while the giant litterbox remains. Through ups and downs and inside ups and outside downs and joys and pains. The past is still there. It went something like this years upon years ago at my lair.

You see there was a c....wait. What?

This isn't my little rhyming butt.

You see there was a c...wait...wait...wait. Where did these mutts come from?

They don't have a rhyming bum.

You see there was a cat...hmmm a clone.

This blog has gotten glitchy. I'll have to get Google on the phone.

You see there was a...I never asked for a shadow to show.

What next? Humans think they can give this a go?

I had to open my big, rhyming mouth.

This post is really going south.

Okay. Okay. Not so far south we get to hermit land.

Why must the IWSG ask how long I've been making a rhyming stand?

Oh right. It was this that brought this to light.

What? The old badge is here?

At least we are getting back near my rhyming rear.

How long have you been blogging? (Or on Facebook/Twitter/Instagram?) What do you like about it and how has it changed?

Now you know where this started. I'll stray away from saying I farted. We crossed that bridge before. No need for an encore.

What? I said before. I never said we had to cross.

You humans truly are at a loss.

What? I didn't mean jump off the stupid thing.

This human is clearly a ding a ling.

That is right, mutts. Pee in sync.

You just solved the missing link.

Finally. There once was a cat...hold the phone.

That is that there clone.

Maybe I need to find a time travelling boat.

Or some sort of magic goat.

Well I can definitely say that is a cat.

Maybe it will threaten the fakes, the shadow, the mutts, the clone, the tiny humans, and the human dingbat.

Nope. It just went back to the giant litterbox.

Do you think it mocks?

Now this one goes to the advertising stuff.

I always wanted to swat him and his fluff.

We are getting closer. The clone is small.

It wasn't a mouser and chased me down the hall.

Kind of like that.

Two on one? Still bet on the cat.

You can tilt your heads all you like.

That cat made you take a hike.

See? The cat won the day.

Sun shining and all that at play.

Finally. There once was a cat.

Even if the clone is in that.

I chewed some TP and rhymed a bit.

I never cared if you had anything to wipe your umm...shit.

It all started here.

High on a perch with my little rhyming rear.

And the door opened to many an adventure, new task, book, rhyme, and friend along the way.

Over three thousand blog posts with always something to say.

The door stays open even though blogging isn't as big as it once was.

Twitter and Instagram and Farcebook took all that buzz.

Or should I say X?

Pfffft. I deleted all that text.

So things have changed and things have been done.

But through it all I can still poke fun.

Nope. Never poked a mutt's belly or thingy.

I'll leave that to some other majiggy.

I cheat rhyme too.

What you gonna do?

And years later here we are.

Thirteen or so I think so far.

My eye ever on this and that or that and this.

Maybe I rhyme. Maybe I hiss.

But through it all there always came some sass.

What else would you expect from a little rhyming ass.

Enjoy life. Push through the strife.