Picture Advancement Ease

The cat was at Snowcatcher's the other day where she had tons of great pics on display. She brought up how it was way easier to get creative with pics today. I never really thought about it much before that. But she is right. It gets a big YEP from the cat. That truly pain in the arse of using photoshop years ago at our sea I think we blocked out. Then she brought it back about. Now I guess we appreciate the ease more. And the cat is fine with showing himself a ton all at once at our shore. And we can even go further too. As Pat goes back to editing, here are some ones for a Lookie Lou after a little bit.

And then there is land, sea, and snow.

We'll skip the very last though.

We'll even take the giant litterbox.

If the cat wanted to go for walks.

And then you got this creep.

He sure has quite the heap.

He gets around a bunch.

We really think Pat is out to lunch.

Pat keeps saying he really should be editing at our sea, but I made him post for me. Do you realize how easy it is to post and change pics these days? Sure is no longer one big tech maze. Now I'll let Pat go edit his latest novel's final pass while I go back to napping my little rhyming ass.

With a click click click you can edit a pic some slick.

Holiday Ever After

There's man babies and fat guys and bunnies that hop.

Set in diapers or red suits or ears that flop.

One has an arrow. One has a sleigh.

One looks like it leaves poop at the end of the day.

There's more in between. There's more in the end.

But why make a scene? Oh yeah, go and spend.

It's the way of the day. It's the way of your life.

Buy stupid shit for your husband, dog, and wife.

The flowers that die. The candy that tastes grand.

Give em diabetes while holding their hand.

Now that shows love. That shows care.

Throw in another stuffed animal if you've got money to spare.

It's bright and sunny. The day is the way.

Go spend that money on the next window display.

Or with a scroll and then maybe a click.

You can buy right now, ever so slick.

You'll be fuzzy and warm. You'll be happy and grand.

Even gift to those people you really can't stand.

It says a lot about you. Yep, it says a lot.

Like you've been brainwashed or suffer from rot.

And there goes the switch. There goes the day.

Ain't that a bitch. Now you've got bills to pay.

It's back to the normal. It's back to ignore.

They'll just have to wait for next year's encore.

That's the only time you'll show. It's the only time you'll speak.

But what do you know, you may if you're up shit creek.

For you gave on the day. You gave to each and all.

That one you don't like has to answer your call.

You enjoyed the day. You did it how you're told.

You saw a deal and it was sold sold sold.

But now the day is done. Now normal is back.

Doing that on a random day may cause a heart attack.

Diabetes is bad enough. Who wants another?

Oh look. It's a call from your mother.

Best to wait until Mother's day to return her call.

That will be the best. You'll be the envy of all.

Holidays are the best time. They are the best.

They are when you show you are just like the rest.

Suck up and pretend. Suck up and put on a display.

But pffft to such things now for it isn't a holiday.

Did you think the cat wouldn't make fun of you humans this year? Pffft valentines day and all the crap that claims to be a holiday to get you to buy crap can kiss my rhyming rear. As can people who only show such things on a so-called holiday. In a lake they can go drown err umm play. Are you one that turns off and on like a light switch when a so-called holiday comes to pass? No matter the day, I'm still the same old little rhyming ass.

The holiday greet can hit the street.

Once Upon A Stalker

See how I'm staring at you? Do you? Do you really? If a human, a big human, not the tiny ones, ever stares at you like that and they aren't related to you, in a relationship with you, or whatever, then you better run far far away. Don't believe me? Well I have a case study that proves it. It is the poor life and times of this naive woman. Let's call her...LMF. If only she listened to the cat then they never would have found her pink boots by the docks. 

The Nice Person Who Wasn't A Stalker 

(But...let's call him J...really, really, really was.)

Oh, cat. I'm so lucky where I work. I have a guy who will do anything for me. He is just so nice. He is a genuine nice guy. So so so nice. It is so nice.

Is this some sort of test? Are you trying to see how many times you can say nice?

No. He is truly that nice. Let me list the ways.

"sighs" Here we go. If you must make me endure this again.

#1. He opens the door for me.

Wow. Now that is nice. He makes sure you don't touch the germy doorknobs so you won't be sick when he grabs you.

#2. He takes me out for lunch and pays.

Well it is nice of him to feed you and keep you plump while he stalks you.

#3. He carries in things for me.

Nice of you to let him build muscle strength by carrying your purse. Which he probably swipes little items out of for his shrine to you.

#4. He stands up for me to the bosses.

He wouldn't want you to get fired. You'd be harder prey then.

#5. He leaves me little gifts on my desk. 

And he probably takes other things for his shrine while he's in there.

#6. He uses no foul language around me.

That's nice. Stalkers don't want you to know what they are really thinking anyway.

#7. He asks about my life. Like really seems interested.

Because what stalker wouldn't need to know your schedule.

#8. He makes sure I get home safely.

He knows where you live. Should I explain this one further? If it hasn't sunk in by now, it never will.

#9. He drops everything to be by my side and help me.

Sigh. Are you done yet? It would be nice if you were.

#10.......

Did you run out of items? Wait. You still there?

Sorry, cat. You are making him feel bad. He is so nice that you can't comprehend that. You and my other friends all just have had bad experiences in the past. But I have to finish. I must. He knows I'm neurotic and loves me anyway.

#10. He only does these things for me. Just me and no one else. Maybe his wife. But he doesn't talk about her much. 

No one said a stalker couldn't make you feel all warm and tingly. Of course that may just be your body going numb as you get choked to death.

"I don't want nothing in return. I swear it. But if you were to mention it, our spouses wouldn't have to know."

Oh, J. I know you don't mean it. You are just so nice.

"Nice and ready. Just say the word. You don't want me to pout like this forever, do you? We could go out for dinner and discuss your day. That would be nice."

"Sure. That would be nice. Just let me grab my things."

BREAKING NEWS!!!

This just in. Cat pulls remains from river that are believed to be LMF's. He tried to warn her, but like many humans, she never listened to a cat. If only she had paid attention to the signs, the cat, her friends, hell, even the bum down the street holding that "the world is ending" sign. They all saw it. Let this be a warning to all young men and women out there. When you receive gifts, door hold, compliments, and all kinds of other things and are the only person getting such things, nice may not always be so nice. They want you. Whether dead in the river or in bed. They want you.

And so ends the life and times of poor LMF. She will be missed in blogland. We also hear a cat scratched "I told you so" on her tombstone. That was nice of him.

So is the cat right? Is there such a thing as too nice? Holding a door for someone. Fine. That's nice. But doing it all the time along with 50 other things and only for said person. Doesn't that seem a tad fishy? Ever had a stalker? Are you just a nice nice nice person? If you're married and their married is there such a thing as too nice? I think on such nice people I'll take a pass. No more stalkers for my little rhyming ass.

With little old nice, you may roll the dice.

Picture This!

And now we are back with much pictured today. I guess all have their cameras out and are ready to get instaneedy. What? The name kinda stuck. Did you picture it yet? No? Are you picturing the "like me. like me!!!!!!!!!!!!" people? They may be the stuff of nightmares. Better get on with it before the nightmares become real.

Has a single photo or work of art ever inspired a story? What was it and did you finish it?

Ummm. Is this a trick question? Are you new to my blog? Are 3000+ posts too hard to go through? Okay, I'll answer now. Big YEP! Easy as can be. Can write a story out of any photo I see. May be long. May be short. But I can still write a retort. May be in rhyme. May be not. Either way, can think up a plot.

It came from the grass. The same plot that was once barren of life. Just the way I liked it. That was where she deserved to be. But her corpse had to go and spring life. Worm food to grass. Grass to flowers. Flowers to bees. Boy, do I hate nature. Almost as much as I hate her.

At least I can spring forth life worthy of something. Anything from her is a snake in the grass. That snake. It never would have been there if I hadn't put her there. Why couldn't I have dumped her in the river? No fish would bite me. Not a one. But a snake. A damn, dirty snake. Who knew I was allergic to snake bites? Her! I bet that is her reincarnated. Coming as her true self. She came back for revenge. Screwed me in life and screwed me in death. That...

See? Easy as can be. Pulled a random photo from my stash and away I went with what popped in first. Are you allergic to snakes? Ever bury anyone in the woods? Might not want to answer the latter. Can you pop out a story from a picture too? Yeah. The snake hissed while I was taking its photo. I think it was rather miffed that I was afraid.

Enjoy life, forget the strife.