Pat Hatt Time: May 2019

Thieves Up Your Sleeves!

In before you know.

Gone before the show.

A smile full of tact.

Even when caught in the act.

A friend to the end.

At least until the amend.

Amended when dry.

Caught in the lie.

Truth of lies.

More swagger flies.

Questioning your mind.

Talking out their behind.

Bought and sold.

It's pure gold.

An idiot from above.

A long lost love.

The clever tale of need.

The want to gather greed.

A mix and a match.

One of the batch.

Bottled and sold.

Add up more gold.

A hand to hold.

A growth of mold.

Spreading and covering.

There forever hovering.

Forever then comes due.

Bye bye to you.

On to the next sucker.

Naive little trucker.

Granny all alone.

Just pick up the phone.

Have the want.

The past will haunt.

The truth shall pile.

Not without a smile.

Pile and break.

Lies the double take.

Fiction seeks to meddle.

Truth the back peddle.

Don't you love thieves? And trespassers with a mask but no sleeves? Who needs those guys? But at least they get startled by cries. Or that would be a yapping mutt. Then gone from our hut. Interlopers need to take a hike. Thieves we don't like. What? He has to eat too? What if a she came due? Can't offend. May have to use it to amend. Ever had to deal with a thief? They can sure cause grief. Always your best friend even after they screw you. We'll stick with this guy at our zoo. At least he doesn't try to be nice. Although he may have rabies, woodticks, fleas, and/or lice. Hmmm which is worse? Both make us curse. I think we'll just give all a pass and remain on our own with my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Cue The Waterworks!

So Fundy Blue likes it when we show the sights. Theresa likes to show the sights when she takes flights. Bijoux shows them on her new goals. I guess we can show a few as out Pat strolls. You'll want to travel here after this. It is such umm, maybe, sorta, bliss.

Here we have an old boat and WATER!

Next up a giant litterbox and more WATER!

Now we have swamp and even more WATER!

And next we have some rocks and even more WATER!

Some big rocks, a sign, and even more WATER!

A funky tree and even more WATER!

What have we here? Could it be? More WATER...and a seagull.

Need to dispose of a vehicle? Well here we have a way. It's more WATER!

And finally we have a power pole and can you guess? Are you waiting in anticipation? Yeah. It's more WATER!

Should the cat quit rhyming and become a travel agent? Would lots of humans get bent? I mean water is grand, right? Can find it most anywhere in sight. Hey, could impress an otter with all the WATER! Want to come visit now? Come near me and I may have a cow. Stranger danger and all. Just saying at our hall. Now go and get wet. I'll stick to being a rhyming pet.

It's a safe bet that water is wet.

Deprogrammed Engagement

As of late there have been a few posts on the latest, not really that late, craze of the media, mostly movies and the oh so hip network or two, ramming female sjw crap down viewers throats. I ranted about it at Blue's and the cat and Pat doesn't go on repeat like a certain Penwasser might. But I will say that I think it is stupid when they go all gender swapping movies. I think remakes in general are unnecessary and a cash grab to begin with. If you want to make a movie with all females or female driven, great! Alien and Aliens are prime examples. Buffy and Xena are a couple more. Maybe not so much the latter seasons of the former. All not remakes, at least I think. Everything is a rip off of something if you look hard enough. (Yeah, one movie to tv, but meh, movie sucked anyway.) And all not gender swapped. And none rammed it down your throat every two seconds that the lead was a woman. Unless one is blind and deaf, we can tell. What next? The sky is blue? Water is wet? Ice is slippery? 2 comes after 1? Hey, some may need to be told that too.

WAIT! Not going on about that. Well maybe I am, but in a way that you might not expect. For as much as the sjw go on about it and others go on about them going on about it, both (the others in particular as many a sjw get on an issue and hound it to death, so their tunnel vision may excuse them a bit) don't even wake up and realize that they are programmed by much of the same BS. It is just that this BS doesn't ra ra ra in your face and treat the viewer like a 2 year old needing everything explained to them. Nope. This BS is far far more sneaky. Don't believe that you are programmed to get screwed, and not in a fun way, with what you watch and see? Let's see if we can't break that programming with part one of our deprogramming series.

Engagement rings

You've seen it in many many movies and tv shows. You love when they get down on one knee and propose or go through some elaborate oh so romantic way to do it. You love it because that is the way it's always been. That is the way it must be. After all, diamonds are forever, diamonds are rare, diamonds are worth a lot...Do you smell the BS yet? Let me help.

It wasn't until the late 1930's that diamond engagement rings were even a thing. A certain company slapped a few ads up and our grandparents, or maybe great grandparents, or maybe great great grandparents(hey, some could be older than dirt) lapped it up, becoming the first engagement ring lackeys. They started the trend of paying 1000s for a shiny rock, or hunk of carbon, however you want to look at it. Had to keep up with Aunt Ruth, Cindy Lou down the street, and Bobby Joe Jim Bob the pen pal from 1000 miles away. Two months salary is the constant. Wait. Wasn't it one month? Oh, the diamond company CEOs need a third yacht, better make it two in the next ad. After all, that is how you get the girl and make all envious. The gold digging, look at me, look at me girl. And don't forget, that is how you know you have a great husband. He'll put you in debt thousands before you're even married so you get a shiny rock. You'll have one like all the others and be oh so...rare? Hmmm, do you own a dictionary? May want to look that up.

But but but they are rare. I don't need to look. They are rare. They are!

Maybe if you are bad at math. How many people are in the world? Near 8 billion now? And how many more have come and gone over the years? Lets go with lots because I want to be lazy at math like engagement ring lackeys too. So if millions have become engagement ring lackeys and there are hundreds upon hundreds upon hundreds of stores with dozens upon dozens of diamonds in them all over the world, did we miss the meaning of rare? Here, I'll be like one of those cringeworthy shows and spell it out for you.

Rare: not found in large numbers and consequently of interest or value.

Hmmm. Yeah, that can't possibly apply. Millions isn't a large number. That font is so big it has to be lying. I mean it is underlined. A clear sign of trying too hard. There are far less than rocks on the ground. That has to make it rare. It has to. Where's my shiny rock? Its forever.

Diamonds are forever. Does it hurt your brain to think about how stupid that sounds? Are you still blinded by the shiny rock? If I told you bananas are forever, would you agree then? Nope, as that isn't oh so romantic. Well guess who made sure you believe it is romantic? Any guesses? No, it wasn't Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny doing the hula. Of course if you believe diamonds are forever then you can catch that show in your backyard tonight. Go stand very still and they'll be there. I promise. It has to be true as I just said it here. Right? Damn, I forgot the catchy font, bright colors, models, and $100,000 a second ad space. Guess Santa and the Easter Bunny are going to have to hula somewhere else.

But why forever? Forever is a fun word. Forevermore. Forever and ever. Forever and a day. Forever Young. Get it? Forever makes it seem like you won't croak one day. Who really wants to think about that? And who really wants to think about ending a relationship and having to sell your shiny rock only to find out there are millions upon millions of them rendering your oh so shiny rock with no intrinsic value. Yeah, that's no fun. It's more fun to forever get screwed by a slogan for a shiny rock.

But even after reading this will you be deprogrammed? Probably not. Why? Because you can surf the channels and find a dozen movies, shows, ads, etc. that all perpetuate your oh so solid belief right now. It has to be true. They say it on TV. It must. Look, so and so is going to pop the question. Look at that big rock. He must have spent...Nope. More BS. Sorry. He spent absolutely nothing on that shiny rock because he is FAKE! You got that? Do I need to say it again? FAKE! And guess what? That shiny rock was probably either bought with a few thousand out of a million budget or loaned to the studio as a means of...wait for it...wait for it...advertising. Or, my engagement ring lackey, the ring is fake.

But the fake character said he spent thousands on a fake ring. It can't be true. It can't be.

Thus the can't be remains ingrained in your head all because of our gullible grandparents, great grandparents, or great great grandparents buying the shit they were selling, which is just how the diamond companies, or maybe just a certain company, wants it to stay. And people have the nerve to make fun of a cat for chasing a red dot that costs $5? Who's the real sucker? At least the cat gets exercise. Right. Your ring finger gains strength from holding a shiny rock that's oh so forever. That is oh so important. What? That forever banana is backing you up? Okay, you can go now. But just know that they make pills for that.

Are you satisfied to continue to get what rhymes with ducked by greedy corporations over a shiny little no intrinsic value rock? Don't you love the media? Would you rather the sjw scream in your face or be screwed from behind by corporations? Kinda funny how only the things they can shove in your face gets harped on, huh? But then again they could start whining how only the man proposes in most shows and movies. That is soooo bad after all. Pfffft. See you next time...

Wait! I have to clarify. Some may get lost. This post was written by a male without any shiny rocks. Damn, if only I was a female with a shiny rock on my finger, then I would be able to deprogram all. Guess I'll have to wait 6 months and gender swap the post. See ya then. In the meantime keep those shiny rocks a shining.

Betrayal!

I'm shouting to one and all. I've been betrayed at our hall.

"Give it a rest."

Quiet, betrayer.

"Get over it."

Never! As you have a long history of betrayal.

See? You hung out with this cranky guy.

"Before you were even here."

Still shows history.

"Big deal."

It is. As you hung out with this one too!

"The world will end."

It will! You hung out with a dog. That is just...

"Says the cat who acts like a dog."

Not the point!

And poop machines. You hung out with poop machines.

"Must we really do this again?"

Hey! I killed the snake-like thing.

"Idiot."

Who's the idiot now? Got you just the other day.

"Really? That the best you got?"

I don't need anymore proof. Betrayer.

"I believe this was after that."

So what?

"And this may have been after that. Who do you see sitting near another?"

Not relevant.

"What about this? Playing with a child with no snake-like thing in sight."

It was there. You just don't see it. Bad shot. That's all.

"Right. And wait for it..."

"There you are hanging out with a dog."

Nope. That was lunch.

"I hear he's still walking about, oh great spotted hunter."

Quiet. Your dog was bigger.

"I think I win. Now go back to looking for sympathy elsewhere because everyone doesn't give you attention 100% of the day."

Not talking to you.

Finally!

There Was A Car?

There was a car that didn't go far. There wasn't a car that didn't go far. Which is which? Does it make you itch? Is this a glitch? Maybe some sort of sales pitch? There was a car that did go far. There wasn't a car that did go far.

Experience spring, confuse something.

"Pat can't even get it right. The cat doesn't even know what to make of this sight. Is there a car? Bah, now the alien got me going that far. I think I'll go ask Cass and let the alien probe some other little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling."

Looming Storm

Bloom of soul.

A gathering known.

Moments taken by a scroll.

Chaos controlling a harmonious zone.

Stillness trailing just beyond.

Fate's secluded dancing manor.

New choirs gracefully spawned.

Splintering the perfect planner.

Notions gravitating toward uncharted.

Grasping tight to the known.

Drizzle whispering against started.

Peaking firmly on only own.

Clearing sights confirm mentality.

Answers cemented past and future.

Trudging within the same morality.

Questions sealed by worn suture.

Was, is, forever present.

Turmoil treading blind.

Numb within immersive pleasant.

Established toward confined.

I guess that is what pops out when one is sitting there bored and waiting for the passenger to get done and back in the car. Or at least that is what comes from random picture taking while waiting in the car. Always another storm a brewing in life, may take longer to get there, but it shall show. Any storms hit you lately? Hopefully not. Hopefully not with snow. Blah to that. Still hated by Pat and cat. But just because the sun isn't there, doesn't mean it won't come back. Unless aliens blow it up, then we may be screwed. I'll refrain from any alien butt today. Theresa got her R rated dose for the week.

Push through the storm and don't settle on the norm.

Not Fair Warning In This Not Morning!

You weren't warned today. Or were you at our bay? Would not being fair still be a warning? Would it be like you had a bad morning? Unfair warning being had? Bah, maybe a warning that I will drive you mad.

You were warned.

Now your horned.

Honked and conked.

Maybe even zonked.

Gone all Bugs Bunny.

Wish I had that creator's money.

Speaking of bunny and holes.

Hey, Theresa had mixed nut goals.

Blame her for that.

She wanted an R rated Pat.

He can show her the spots.

Those Germans have lots.

Did I confuse?

It still tends to amuse.

Now I'm down the hole.

The rabbit one for a stroll.

Could be comfy and spacious.

Would that count as bodacious?

Did I just go all surfer dude?

My, what's with the attitude?

I gave you not fair warning.

I even posted at night and not morning.

Shouldn't you be awake by now?

Maybe you ate too much chow?

Bijoux is in on that.

All new at her blog mat.

That just popped on in.

The way with the words I spin.

They aren't actually spinning though.

Would that be a fair warning go?

Or would I pass go and head directly to jail?

Would the warning and grammar then fail?

Are you still stuck on holes?

My, you may have R rated goals.

I sat on top my hole.

Unfair warning to charge a toll.

I may still do it though.

Pay or in my hole is a no go.

Can that get me arrested?

Fair warning, this could be protested.

Was my warning fair? Are you confused at my lair? Hey, I still have to do that every once in a while. Fair warning isn't really my style. I guess I'm not fair or unfair or no fair warning to spare. Does giving a warning even make one care? Maybe they just run. Either way, we went down the rabbit hole for fun. That's the only hole Theresa and her mixed nuts are getting out of me. Getting arrested isn't the goal of we. But I can give her a crack....

Nailed it at my shack. Did I just dig a deeper hole? Fair warning may not be a bad goal. Are warnings fair? Do you like the view at my lair? Blame the mixed nut one for it. She needed something extra special to be lit. Can warnings be fair? Would unfair be if they came late at your lair? Look! Buns with no hair. Okay, I have no more fair warnings to spare. Now I will just let you gawk in mass and keep covered, as far as you know anyway, my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Adrift

Grow with the waves and the moss.

See what comes from life and loss.

Growth without and growth within.

Sometimes you lose, sometimes you win.

A simple task or mundane word.

A little extra something heard.

Each can cause a lasting ripple.

A larger impact to brighten or cripple.

Beyond the seen and the know.

Deep within or lingering below.

Sucked to the bottom or floating on top.

Life continues with no reason to stop.

A spark to lead or fog to linger.

Drops of life upon your finger.

Drizzled in to find a drought.

Hurricane forces to ascertain doubt.

What lies beyond or still within.

Keyed away in each mind's inn.

Ripples connecting through the vast.

Some ever present while others past.

Seem to be taking a page from Snowcatcher and Fundy Blue's book and snapping pics here and there. I guess it helps when you have a better camera on your phone than some pixelated thing. So gave it a go and this is what came from the flow. But remember that water is wet. Eye roll worthy there, I know. What I have to deal with. But ignore that. Ever been adrift at sea? Hopefully not. Would you go in for a swim? Those sharp rocks may hurt the feet.

Even in spring, pointy rocks sting.

Domesti...cat...ed?

Pat told me I had become domesticated after nearly three days with poop machines this past weekend. Pffft that isn't this cat's trend. I will prove it without even the need to rhyme because I don't want to confuse any who aren't in their prime. They just have to know that Pat is full of it in tow.